Time and again, we're told many of the reasons for finding some time and space to be quiet; to just 'be with ourselves'. There's an important one that I think gets overlooked more often than the others.
We've stopped listening to ourselves.
There's a lot of other things to listen to, it's true: our families, friends and co-workers; the TV and videos on the internet; the music on our phones. Perhaps it's because of the constant distractions and obligations around us that I've begun to realise how vital it is to spend some time alone. It doesn't have to involve sitting in a room - it can happen when you go for a walk, travel on public transport or do the household chores.
It isn't easy to listen to yourself. Sometimes it can even be daunting to observe the endless chatter that goes on in your mind. I think the first and most vital step is to simply accept the different thoughts you have, some of which you don't even like! Negativity, frustration and confusion often come to the surface when you try to meditate in some way, making you wonder how much control you have over the ideas in your head. I'm all for being as positive as you can. However, conversations with some people I really admire have made me realise something: having different sorts of feelings, some of which are more cheerful and some which are less so, simply makes us... human. Why do we fight this so much?
Once you've accepted the bunch of thoughts and feelings that happens to float around your mind, you can relax a little bit. Some of us take the stories in our head very seriously, which is understandable when there are difficult issues going on around us and in our lives. However, when you dig a little deeper, you are likely to also find that there are several things that you really can't control, or that don't matter as much as you make yourself believe. Let go of those things - it helps you to manage what you can control a little better.
You can simply observe your thoughts without judging them, and you can also … just breathe deeply. When you get tired of listening to the stream of thoughts, you can just return to your breath. People talk about the importance of focusing on your breath in many of the different forms of meditation - you can try this without necessarily thinking of it as 'meditation'. It's quite relaxing really.
When you have found some peace with your thoughts, you may find out what I have discovered is one of the biggest benefits of alone-time; you start to have an honest conversation with yourself. What really motivates you to do the things you do? Do you know what you want out of life? What is it that lights you up from the inside? It’s worth asking yourself about this or discussing it with a higher power, depending on your personal preference.
I think that being honest with ourselves about these and other questions, regardless of our particular circumstances and past experiences, can be really valuable. It can bring us a little more contentment. And as we all know, the people who know how to find happiness in their own lives have a greater ability to spread it to the others. Which means that spending some quality time by yourself can ultimately translate into more happiness for the people around you.
We've stopped listening to ourselves.
There's a lot of other things to listen to, it's true: our families, friends and co-workers; the TV and videos on the internet; the music on our phones. Perhaps it's because of the constant distractions and obligations around us that I've begun to realise how vital it is to spend some time alone. It doesn't have to involve sitting in a room - it can happen when you go for a walk, travel on public transport or do the household chores.
It isn't easy to listen to yourself. Sometimes it can even be daunting to observe the endless chatter that goes on in your mind. I think the first and most vital step is to simply accept the different thoughts you have, some of which you don't even like! Negativity, frustration and confusion often come to the surface when you try to meditate in some way, making you wonder how much control you have over the ideas in your head. I'm all for being as positive as you can. However, conversations with some people I really admire have made me realise something: having different sorts of feelings, some of which are more cheerful and some which are less so, simply makes us... human. Why do we fight this so much?
Once you've accepted the bunch of thoughts and feelings that happens to float around your mind, you can relax a little bit. Some of us take the stories in our head very seriously, which is understandable when there are difficult issues going on around us and in our lives. However, when you dig a little deeper, you are likely to also find that there are several things that you really can't control, or that don't matter as much as you make yourself believe. Let go of those things - it helps you to manage what you can control a little better.
You can simply observe your thoughts without judging them, and you can also … just breathe deeply. When you get tired of listening to the stream of thoughts, you can just return to your breath. People talk about the importance of focusing on your breath in many of the different forms of meditation - you can try this without necessarily thinking of it as 'meditation'. It's quite relaxing really.
When you have found some peace with your thoughts, you may find out what I have discovered is one of the biggest benefits of alone-time; you start to have an honest conversation with yourself. What really motivates you to do the things you do? Do you know what you want out of life? What is it that lights you up from the inside? It’s worth asking yourself about this or discussing it with a higher power, depending on your personal preference.
I think that being honest with ourselves about these and other questions, regardless of our particular circumstances and past experiences, can be really valuable. It can bring us a little more contentment. And as we all know, the people who know how to find happiness in their own lives have a greater ability to spread it to the others. Which means that spending some quality time by yourself can ultimately translate into more happiness for the people around you.