Do you know the feeling of not-enoughness?
It’s a persistent little ache – an uncomfortable feeling that we’re not doing enough; not being enough. Telling us that we should be shouldn’t be where we are, but somewhere else: travelling, saving the world, having children, making our mark. It also seems to be reminding us that we need to be better; more hard-working, more active, more adventurous.
If most of the time you feel that you or your life is lacking in some way, that doesn’t make for a very enjoyable existence. One of the most valuable nuggets of wisdom I’ve ever come across was given to me by my sister: ‘Things are the way they are meant to be’. What I’ve taken this to mean is: accept yourself and your current life situation wholeheartedly. It couldn’t have been any other way because at each stage you’ve taken decisions in the only way you could take them at the time (even though it definitely doesn’t seem that way in hindsight!). Make peace with who and where you actually are at this moment – and that includes your tiniest faults, your fears and your unproductive days. And I mean actually make peace with it: realise that we’re all only human and doing what we can. In a world ridden with impressive facebook posts and inspiring tweets we sometimes hold ourselves to incredibly high standards.
What could happen if you relax into the place where you find yourself in now, exactly as you are? Maybe you would start to like the person you actually are instead of an idealistic image that you or others hold up. Perhaps you would start to appreciate all the little and not so little things that make your life unique: the people around you, your thoughts, feelings and experiences... Of course you may still have a strong inclination to improve aspects of yourself or change your circumstances, but you would be more accepting of things that you can’t really control.
If you need a little help in reclaiming a sense of enoughness, try music. I’ve found it to be a great way to regain a sense of perspective.
It’s a persistent little ache – an uncomfortable feeling that we’re not doing enough; not being enough. Telling us that we should be shouldn’t be where we are, but somewhere else: travelling, saving the world, having children, making our mark. It also seems to be reminding us that we need to be better; more hard-working, more active, more adventurous.
If most of the time you feel that you or your life is lacking in some way, that doesn’t make for a very enjoyable existence. One of the most valuable nuggets of wisdom I’ve ever come across was given to me by my sister: ‘Things are the way they are meant to be’. What I’ve taken this to mean is: accept yourself and your current life situation wholeheartedly. It couldn’t have been any other way because at each stage you’ve taken decisions in the only way you could take them at the time (even though it definitely doesn’t seem that way in hindsight!). Make peace with who and where you actually are at this moment – and that includes your tiniest faults, your fears and your unproductive days. And I mean actually make peace with it: realise that we’re all only human and doing what we can. In a world ridden with impressive facebook posts and inspiring tweets we sometimes hold ourselves to incredibly high standards.
What could happen if you relax into the place where you find yourself in now, exactly as you are? Maybe you would start to like the person you actually are instead of an idealistic image that you or others hold up. Perhaps you would start to appreciate all the little and not so little things that make your life unique: the people around you, your thoughts, feelings and experiences... Of course you may still have a strong inclination to improve aspects of yourself or change your circumstances, but you would be more accepting of things that you can’t really control.
If you need a little help in reclaiming a sense of enoughness, try music. I’ve found it to be a great way to regain a sense of perspective.